These Days

It's been the 19th day since I've been ingesting 10mg of fludac; fluoxetine to be precise and I experienced some repercussions only in the 7th day and last Saturday and Sunday, these repercussions were short lived, it didn’t continue for many days on straight thankfully, I got really scared when these did occur last Sunday as well, but apart from these I feel adequately well, battling depression I feel has given me the mental strength and the emotional agility that I'm proud of, though the process of acquiring these were neither desirable nor easy at all, I don’t think that anyone would like to be 10X sad for no reason, and endure that scenario for even a second, yes, it just doesn't make sense, but guess that's what the white coats call depression. It's been 7 months since it first held me but my medication is helping me focus on the important aspects than finding comfort for the extreme darkness that I used to go through during that period. I know that the future me would read this and maybe smile and recollect the bitter sweetness that it provided me this year, but I'm glad it happened to me, glad it happened this year, a difficult wound as a memory and landmark in the monotonality of life, something stimulating though painful was something that was needed I believe. So after this thing that I've went through when someone asks me, "How are you ?" , I calmly reply, "Never better !" I indeed am :) I've been contributing to my self-growth, learning new concepts in class, doing sums, feeling less sleepy these days, proudly have cute girlfriend who cares a lot about me and I do as well (she went to doctor with me), subtly subtle actions have taken me far this year, overall growth in mostly all important aspects of life.

Now, since this blog is a memoir that the future me is also gonna read, so let me mention the person who made these changes possible in the most positive way, no one could have done as good as her, so I would like to appreciate all that she has done for me and has been doing for me :)(No I'm not into feminism but she's special so…) She's the smartest girl I've met, bright, cordial and a very happy person, her cuteness I've been unable to decode, I see the inner me in her eyes, most humble and kind-hearted human, I've observed her to be an extrovert, well an extrovert coming into an introvert's life is a pretty big thing, a thing that not every introvert gets to encounter, it’s a rare possibility in this present world, so coincidentally this rare event did occur in my life in the month of December. You see I along with many of my friends had gone for science camp; there were many schools, we had mixed groups, different schools in a group, and mysteriously we got in the same group and did the lab visits together, but we did not know each other, it was only after the science camp that our communication started, yes we never talked during the 7-day event, I saw her and she saw me(I noticed her first) and that was it, our conversation officially started in messenger, and that's how I started learning about this pretty intelligent person, I started our texts in the name of Ramanujan's divergent series, that’s when she let me know that her ambition was the same as mine, like it was freaking awesome !!! Common ambition, physicists ! Revelation had taken place, and I did not miss that out, neither did she :), and that's the brief version of the long account of an introvert(me) making a pact with an extrovert (her). She's the best thing that has happened to me after the worst had stormed my weeks, in fact she was there when the worst thing stroke back ; she's been with me during my depression months(Jan, Feb), comforting me with suggestions and advises that I never had thought about, that being one of the many reasons I respect her, she's helped me evolve into a better being, converting me into 70% extrovert in the process. I've been able to speak to my friends, speak at the assembly, speak at debates, well at least be reasonably presentable in terms of confidence, she's blessings in disguise, and I'm extremely grateful to have such a sensational being, learning things together, supporting each other, and falling more in love( yes nerds do have emotions *_*). . So you may now understand the 'never better' in full sense. It’s my first time with this alienating concept about love, so please forgive me if you felt I 'boasted' , maybe I did but it's just that I'm so happy about her presence and so proud to have an elegant smart twin flame.

 So you see life's good these days; the medication I've been asked to continue for 3 months, maybe I'll then be rid of this melancholy for permanent :)