Memory Boulevard

 

ONE_FOUR

I could hear the songs, I could view the situations, but wasn’t able to apprehend at that period of time. The songs were just a noise, couldn’t understand it was music then, and the circumstances felt like an excuse for the moments to pass. The passage of time was unheeded and all that mattered was ‘now’. It was serene, carefree and life was a second name for leisure; that was how babyhood was for us, it was instantaneous, unplanned and exciting every second, the past didn’t bother and the future wasn’t a burden. All my emotions belonged only to me, it wasn’t judged nor recorded. I felt the way I did, and no one could question that, no one could comprehend what was mine, and the way I looked at things was something curious about unknowingly, but I felt no need to dive deep, no need to understand what’s going on, was just enjoying each minute, staying joyous without any reason, being how I was naturally, free.

To be frank, I was unaware of what was coming ahead (yep a serious one was on its way, neither you knew nor me), and it didn’t matter to me, I let the things just ‘be’. Staying angry for long wasn’t possible, because there were new emotions coming over within the lapse of the previous one (And you didn’t have any villains in your life nor ‘problems’ so why would you get sad). Life was comfortable with parents backing you for tiny puny mistakes; like you accidentally touching fire, to get the feeling of how it was to get burnt (maybe your nails stopped growing after that), or falling down in attempts of walking without your parents holding you, all these experiences slowly started getting added up; now from some point you would start recalling the events, your memory improved, you started learning languages from your surroundings and would even start practicing stuff on your own, probably blabbering the words that you just heard from your mother, or trying to imitate stuff to draw attention of your parents; all these were attempts to get closer to your efforts you initially started making to have things how you wanted it. Maybe you were thirsty, so you would try dragging yourself till you could get that bottle of milk (did you try vodka too hmmm). You were incapable of doing things yourself, except the natural stuff (you know), so all those endeavors you made were for being in control of what you needed at that instant. Hopefully you didn’t kill yourself in the process (else you wouldn’t be reading this) and you passed this phase with little bruises (maybe a few broken bones).You get the idea, you did well, but it was only the natural demands of body that primarily governed your emotions and made you persistent in some way, now comes another that would be one of the initial phases for you becoming more of a social creature.

FIVE_TWELVE

Now you slowly start caring about what others think about you, their perceptions start to matter, you start making friends and maybe you try pleasing them, however at the initial stages you really wouldn’t care if some of your friends were of opposite sex, you treat them the same. Everyone’s feelings have some weightage and can make you agitated or happy, you start choosing a group to belong to (temporarily) and give more time to a particular circle. You don’t wanna risk being left out, it’s necessary to have what others are having, it gets important for you to get involved in talks that everyone seems to be talking about (though those were rubbish anyway), in short at that moment you’re a perfect example of an immature human being (don’t worry it wasn’t your fault). And for a lot of years you continue to exhibit this nature. If you get an opportunity to be bossy around with one, you extend that to many others (yes, some of you turned into mini-don of your locality), some are suppressed and they grow up to be shy or afraid individuals. In some way for many of us, this phase shapes our personality and opinions. Often, once you form an identity at this age range it is baffling to delocalize that since it somehow stays as your initial default. Your ambitions start taking shape on the basis of the experiences you encounter during this time, and you’re able to slowly detach from friends who once felt near on the basis of current choices (You were getting smarter you know). It’s a period of trial and error mostly with respect to socializing. However, your life isn’t that stressful even then, workload isn’t something that you experience to that extent at this level; your life during this time is an unbalanced see-saw of minimal work against play and pranks. You still are unaware of situations getting stretched towards you like a rubber band (So when it does hit you, it will hurt badly for exponentially short amount of time). Gradually you begin to observe that you don’t get free food (food is a metaphor here), from any other person except your family. You start realizing that you must work to get that. This is where the class entertainers start coming up, they engage the class by acting like comedians and they work but in a direction against the expansion of our universe, hence are eventually caught up. In a sense, you start developing an identity of who you are at this time, and this you carry to the next phase, the inevitable roller coaster of your life (drum rolls…..) teenage, which is just a trailer of your entire movie in which simply you’re the dummy watching yourself. You begin to desire to be authoritative, to grow up a bit more in order to reach the next level. Craving that feeling of being in higher grade, and becoming more mature. In simpler terms you don’t wanna be a kid anymore, you wanna feel like a grown up (you didn’t know what would happen when you would actually grow up, if you’d know, guess you’d stop growing).

3rdTeen_7thTeen

Now you’re a big girl or boy (or both, congratulations anyway). And now you start going through various changes in your body (very awkward ones), you know better, it’s funny now, but when you look back on the sudden alterations you did freak out didn’t you? In short your body started doing weird stuffs, things you didn’t expect would happen, you started discovering a lot about yourself perhaps, but it was within the bounds of nature, and so wasn’t your fault. It was painful I know, especially the mood swings that destroyed your peace, and bolts of blood rush you had. You faced them well, and in your place no one would have done better except you. You started sharing more with friends than with your parents, and maybe your workload increased by a bit. But nothing could stop you from the stuff, you just can’t deny….yes but it’s not love. It was infatuation (don’t say ‘no’; else you’re definitely from Mars). Some of you mistook this as ‘love’ which wasn’t but this wouldn’t stop you from immersing in it (but it was not unnatural). So you just started falling in infatuation (not ‘in love’ at least for now). Yes, you handled that too. You started being really selective about who you’d talk to or whom you’d include in your circle. You would mostly spend time with them, and sort of became a part of you. Many of you might have fought during this time too; most of my friends fought cruelly as far as I know; punches and kicks (just because the other guy used his pencil without asking). And all these started filling your memory. You came to know more about people and what agitates them recognizing yourself as part of a group, shifting your idealism solely from yourself to being a part of something big. Gradually you became more conscious of all that goes around you and that which is really important. Though you turned more mature in terms of comprehensibility, you were still a kiddo in terms of execution (that time). You made friends, they weren’t good or bad, just your experiences with them probably were; but they definitely taught you something to carry on. Now you’re choices started filtering, choosing what you truly wanted, from people to stuffs. Maybe you began visualizing yourself from the eyes of others, and trying to ‘fit in’ somehow, but did work on something at this time, maybe academics, or sports, or music. You started adding value to your life, in order to be known among your group of masses. Your goal was centered not for the general masses; it was for your selectively selected peers (aka partners in crime). You take frustrations normally and don’t go about creating a blunder out of it. You were getting emotionally persistent (didn’t say strong). Gradually you started imagining how your future should look like, and took choices in the direction of your goals to lead you there. Yes you did get distracted, got back on track and continued (Many of us chose to be distracted for a really long time, but the consequence wasn’t so deadly, so you got to square one until you hit a dead end). You learnt a lot, and perhaps finalized your career and worked hard (if you were in the habit of working) else you just worked (slim). The phase after this brings in a lot of events and experiences in your life, and your choices turn into landmarks of your life.

8thTeen ++

The time has come, you’re an adult now (don’t picture stuff when I say adult c’mon). You feel really grown up, and are included in most of the important conversations with your family. By now, you’ve narrowed down your choices to one single path, a road you’re happy to walk in (or the one you took as per the opinions of other people) for the rest of your life. You’re serious in a way, but do not lose out the opportunity to bring out the inner child in you at times. Your life by now is monotonous usually, with the same stuff happening over and over again but you’re okay with it, you accept it as the reality (because it is, so you’d have to accept it anyway), and do what you can to materialize your objectives into action. These phase marks your final identity in a sense that, after this you get so busy doing something (or some may not be busy at all, depends) that you do not get time for confirming your attitude or your character; your personality overall in this respect stays genuinely as you’re now, though you may encounter some enhancements (like update in your apps) but you actually are the same person inside, and so can’t deny or mold it. You’re becoming more and more far sighted, as in planning everything that you do, and taking choices that affect your stakes in your career. Future seems interesting to you, thinking about it either excites you or knocks your socks off. However, it’s all due to the fact that you’re turning to a person you see yourself as in future. This phase along with its pragmatism brings fantasizing; like when you might be drowning between your assignments, just picturing your ambitions would push to do more, because daydreams are not ordinary imaginations, they remind you of the reason for doing the work, and where your efforts are taking you. It’s the perfect blend of dreams and reality working simultaneously in your favor. Maybe studying is not the only priority now; you’ve got other obligations to live up to (though it’s primarily studying). You may have to do a lot in a day; completing the work, being social too, keeping fit, taking care of the deadlines, managing relationship well, or just letting yourself clear the steam sometimes (relaxing). I get it, you’re simply one the busiest individuals in this phase, but the way you’re handling of the responsibilities will define you in the coming years. In all, this phase (in which most of you reading this are currently traversing) is a preparatory phase for your future, it’s a mock to prepare you for all the remaining days coming ahead in your life. While the thoughts of the outcome may blind you but focus on the process more. Like it’s said journey is more important than arriving, so let’s go through this together, and just to remind you, “you’re doing well”. Let it go on…